I Haven't Got Many Ideas

I am soft serving it: my mind is totally blank.
I'm blaming my allergies.

So, I shall present you with some witty stories by somebody else.

I present to you a story about a goose, a horrifying story about a spider, a childish prank, a tale of wounded honor, and - Caroline's favorite - a story of a Monday.

This is the level of wit and humor I strive for.